Barbara Gerbert
Barbara Gerbert, professor and chair of the Division of Behavioral Sciences in the UCSF School of Dentistry, recently offered her perspective on domestic violence.
Gerbert aired her opinion on
KQED Radio on Dec. 13. To listen to the entire program, go
here .
Here's her full message.
"I have the best doctor," a young woman told me recently. At her first visit he asked about her safety. Did she use seatbelts? Were there any guns in her home? And, finally: "Do you feel safe with your partner?"
Many women get defensive at such questions from their doctor. But she was elated about a caring line of concern.
As a domestic violence researcher, I ask doctors if they talk to patients about intimate partner violence - most of them don't. I also ask women if they talk to their doctors about danger at home - they seldom do. It's a chicken and egg problem - doctors aren't asking because women aren't talking, and vice versa.
Survivors of domestic violence often deny the violence, or minimize it, - even in the face of obvious injury. I've met battered women who said they had fallen down the stairs, hoping their doctor would intuitively know there weren't any stairs in her home.
But doctors should not mimic this silence. If doctors ask about domestic violence, they can intervene effectively, though perhaps unknowingly. Asking equals success. Coupled with validation -"You don't deserve this. It's not your fault."- a doctor's simple screening can make a difference.
I know a woman who spent 20 years in an abusive relationship. She never told her doctor, but she knew that he knew. At every visit over 10 years, he matter-of-factly told her that many women are abused, that it was wrong and undeserved. At one of those visits, she said, "It was one more drop of water in the bucket until it was spilling over." Drop by drop eventually led her to leave her abusive partner and find safety.
If you're a woman in danger, your doctor can help. If you're a doctor - ask. Your care and concern make a difference. And if you're safe and your doctor inquires about your relationships, accept his interest in your health with compassion for those to whom this question can mean so much.
