         
|
 |
||
| by
Andy Evangelista
first appeared 11 August 1999 Name Games The long awaited, new UCSF telephone directory is here. Now we can toss the old one, but remember to rip off the duct tape that held it together before it goes into the recycling bin. Even in this electronic age, there’s nothing like having a paper phone book to flip, wrinkle and doodle on. When we got our crisp 480-page copy, the initial reaction was to stare at it and hold it for a while – you never know if and when there will be a next one.
By mixing and matching some UCSF last names, you come up with some interesting pairs: Clinton and Gore, Abercrombie and Fitch, Masters and Johnson, Proctor and Gamble, Abbott and Costello, Dow and Jones, Stocks and Bonds, Sherwood and Forrest, and for a real UCSF angle, Prusiner and Prion. There’s also: Fields and Meadows, King and Queen, Sun and Moon and Star(s), Horn and Blower, Knight and Armour, Major and Minor, Blunt and Sharp, Hawk and Dove, High and Low, Snow and Raine, Locks and Keyes, Hammer and Saw, Honda and Ferrari, Arms and Legg, Redhead and Brunet, Law and Justice, Sherriffs and Outlaw, Ma and Papa, Champion and Loeser, Strong and Macho, and Nau and Later. If you like where this is going, shout Yeh and Bravo. For a religious bent there’s: Bible and Priest, Cain and Abel, Lyons and Christians. For nostalgic sports fans: Mays and Mantle and Aaron, Ali and Frazier, Bird and Johnson. If you’re thinking about food: Rice and Bean, Berger(s) and Franks and Bunn(s), Butter and Roll, Wheat and Mayo, Cherry(s) and Pitts, Korn and Pease, Lamb and Curry, Sweet and Sauer. Thirsty? Waters or Colas, Champagne or Martini, and Miller(s) or Heineken. A variety for music lovers: Simon and Garfinkel, Gillespie and Armstrong, Gunn(s) and Roses, and if there are any Lawrence Welk fans who haven’t retired yet -- a Won and a Tu. Had enough of this silliness? Okay, back to reality: UCSF and Stanford. Eye Opener Kay Jang at the UCSF Vision Correction Center thought the "Campus Eye" would be an appropriate place to make the following announcement: The Center offers a 10% discount to UCSF employees who want laser surgery to correct their near- or far-sightedness and astigmatism. David Kell, a computer programmer and the School of Nursing’s webmaster, recently had his nearsighted eyes lasered, and he reports that the highly touted procedure was easier than a trip to the dentist. He can now see the numbers on the radio alarm clock in the morning. In general, he sees much better than he did with glasses or contacts. On the cosmetic side, he no longer has red eyes from the scratches and infections from the contacts. "Bloodshot was not a good look," he said. With the discount, the procedure is still about $2,000 an eye. For information, call 476-2561, or check out the center’s website (www.ucsflaser.com) with or without glasses. Standing Room Only Meeting organizers take note. The New York Times recently reported a University of Missouri study that found that a way to make business meetings shorter and better is to remove the chairs. Researchers analyzed 56 standing meetings and 55 sitting ones. The results: standing sessions were 34 percent shorter than the on-your-seat kind; the standers reported greater satisfaction with their meetings; and there was no significant difference in the quality of the decisions produced in either format. Pet Projects Why the neighborhood chihuahua is strutting around like a German shepherd. The LA Times featured a story this week about artificial testicles for pets. The product -- solid silicone "Neutical Naturals" -- sells for $80 to $129 and is implanted in neutered pets that suffer from "post-neutering trauma" and want to look good in the dog locker rooms. These are better than the old and cheaper polypropylene model, and implantation is "easier than changing a light bulb," say the manufacturers. It is "ridiculous and unethical," said one vet, who also worried that if an implanted dog ran way and ended up with new owners, he might end up getting neutered twice. Readers: If you have any items or suggestions for this column, send us an email: aevangelista@pubaff.ucsf.edu . |
|||
|
DAYBREAK | ARCHIVES | CALENDAR | CAMPUS NOTES Copyright ©1999 Regents of the
University of California. All rights reserved. |
|||
Perusing
the pages offered a healthy distraction from some of the campus’ more
pressing events. You find out, for example, that there is a Dr. Pepper
and a Billings who works in accounting. Next time, perhaps we should
abandon the traditional alphabetical order.