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1st appeared 13 October 1998 Members of UCSF Community Describe "Coming Out" Although they all had different "coming out" stories to tell, the three panelists at yesterday's "Coming Out in the Health Sciences" discussion all agreed -- it's an ongoing process. The discussion, sponsored by the Center for Gender Equity in recognition of Sunday's National Coming Out Day, was an exploration of what it means to be "out" as a gay man, lesbian, bisexual or transgender person at UCSF.
Lee Wolfer, a fourth-year medical student, said she has to decide whether to "out" herself as a lesbian every time she applies for something, such as medical school or a residency. "On the UCSF resume I was not out," she said. "You have this thought that there's someone out there who is homophobic who will get your resume." She has also decided not to "out" herself on her applications for residency, saying it would not "add to anything." Although being a lesbian has been a "non-issue" for her at medical school, Wolfer said she has had one experience where her sexuality was an issue for her superior, which made her feel she had to restrict her self-expression. "It doesn't take much to be 'far out' in this conservative environment," she said. Lowell Tong, chief of psychiatry at UCSF/Mount Zion and an associate clinical professor, began "outing" himself almost 20 years ago as a gay man but still has to do it every time someone invites him and "a guest" to an event. He has also been grappling with how to respond when people ask him if he's married -- which happens often since he and his partner both wear rings on their ring fingers. "I've been wanting to say, if someone asks, 'It's not legal'," he said, adding that he would let them ponder his response for a while. Andrea Gonzalez, a computer programmer for the AIDS clinical trial database, has had quite a different "coming out" process than Wolfer or Tong. A transsexual, Gonzalez says she "is probably the only LGBT person in the world to have come out as all of them," -- lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. Gonzalez said she felt as a young boy -- between the ages of four and six -- that she was really a girl. She talked about how in the first grade, when the teacher would separate the kids by their sex, that she would always go with the girls. She even was sent to the principal's office for checking the "F" box (for female) on a form. Her parents, thinking something was wrong, "outed" her when she was 11, sending her to psychiatrists who wanted to perform electroshock therapy. They also threatened to kick her out of the house if she persisted in dressing and acting like a girl. It wasn't until she was 21 that Gonzalez decided to "come out" as a transgendered person and to stop "living a double life." It wasn't easy, to say the least, especially in the years before her sex-change operation. "Coming out as a transsexual is not like coming out as gay or lesbian," Gonzalez said. "You have to tell everybody. Everybody knows your business." And finding work can be almost impossible. "I've had interviewers openly break out in laughter," she said. Job offers are often revoked after potential employers meet her in person, she said. But Gonzalez persisted and eventually got a job at UCSF three years ago. "The AIDS program is the first place where I felt welcome," she said. Source: Paula Murphy, Daybreak Editor |
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