Don't let the word "domestic" fool you. Domestic violence is just as much of a workplace concern as it is a home-based crime, affecting almost four million women in the US every year.

“It’s important that we recognize that domestic violence is not just a private matter,” says Amy Levine, director of the UCSF Women’s Resource Center. “I think we need to have a zero tolerance for domestic violence at UC and that we need to take the responsibility to eliminate domestic abuse through educational programs and by helping battered women escape abuse.”

Seriously underreported and undiagnosed, domestic violence cases on campus mirror life on the street as most victims are female who usually choose not to press charges against their alleged abusers.

Many people hesitate to speak with those who they think are being abused because they don't quite know what to say, or how to say it. The best approach is to relax and be yourself so that you'll automatically communicate what's important: your concern.

UC police respond to a number of calls from health care professionals, who by law, must report suspected domestic violence cases when victims come to the emergency departments with injuries. For cases occurring off campus, UC police call the San Francisco Police Department to make a report. But, women are reluctant to make an official report to police for a number of reasons, Toomer says.

When responding to calls at student housing, police look to the victims for noticeable traumatic injuries, like a bruised eye. If the alleged offender is still on the scene, the suspect is automatically arrested, Toomer says. But even though battered victims may have placed the call to the police themselves, they still may not want to file a report.
"When they find out the offender may be going to jail, they change their minds," Toomer says. "Sometimes the victim will actually help the suspect flee, so they both turn on you. Those are the worst kind of calls to respond to."

Many victims fear that the situation will worsen after the arrest, especially when the offenders get out of prison. "We try to encourage them to make a report so we can document the crime and to get the victim and the suspect some help, but that's not always possible," Toomer says.

That leaves police with no other recourse but to give the victim referrals to various social service agencies and organizations, including the Women's Resource Center.

Intimately involved with the myriad of social woes affecting women on campus, the Women’s Resource Center is hosting several events during October, national domestic violence month. Today, from noon to 1 p.m., in N 225, women, family and friends will discuss personal stories about how they survived domestic violence. Panelists will include a UCSF employee and experts in the field of domestic violence from La Casa de las Madres and Community United Against Violence. "The Silent Witness Project," a national memorial to women who were murdered by their partners, will also be on display at that forum. The exhibit also will be shown at the Mount Zion cafeteria, SFGH cafeteria and MCB main lobby on Oct. 15, 22 and 23, respectively. For more information, call Danielle Tillman at 476-5223.

Need for support

For some victims of abuse, the strength and support they receive from co-workers can make the difference in their attempts to get out of dangerous marriage or living situations, experts say.

Indeed, it takes the assistance of friends, family, colleagues and supervisors to create a safe, supportive environment away from what may be hell-like conditions at home. Sometimes supervisors need to give time off from work while victims seek shelter away from their abusers. And when abused men and women came back to work, security staff and co-workers should keep photograph of the offenders on hand in case abusers violate a restraining order and come to the workplace. Co-workers can also help by escorting victims to their cars in the parking lot at the end of the day.

If you are in an abusive relationship -- some 11 percent of men are victims too -- contact the Women’s Resource Center at 476-5222 or the Faculty and Staff Assistance Program at 476-8279 for confidential advice. There are also resources in the community staffed by people who can help. Victims may also call the national Domestic Violence Prevention Hotline, a toll-free 24-hour national crisis intervention, information and referral service at 1-800-799-SAFE.

By Lisa Cisneros

1st appeared 10/08/97

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Establish a rapport with the person if you don't already have one, so that he/she feels comfortable talking with you and not put on the spot.

Listen, without judging. Often a battered person believes their abuser's negative messages about her/himself. He/she may feel responsible, ashamed, inadequate, and afraid of being judged by you.

Let them know that you care. Tell the person he/she is not responsible for the abuse. Explain that physical violence in a relationship is never acceptable. There's no excuse for it -- not alcohol or drugs, financial pressure, depression, jealousy, or any other behavior.

Make sure he/she knows they are not alone. Millions of women and men of every age, race and religion face abuse, and many find it extremely difficult to deal with the violence. Let him/her know that domestic violence tends to get worse and becomes more frequent over time, and that it does not go away on its own.

Explain that domestic violence is a crime -- as much of a crime as robbery or rape -- and that he/she can seek protection from the police or courts and/or help from a domestic violence program.

Give the person written materials about what he/she can do for protection. Local shelters have this kind of information.

If you want to talk with someone yourself to get advice, contact a local domestic violence program. They can help you figure out what is best to do in your situation.

Many women and men remain in the relationship, and try to get help for their abusers. Remember that, for many, separating from an abusive partner is a process and not an event, and takes time. Realize that often the most dangerous time is when the victim threatens the batterer's control by attempting to leave.

Respect the victim's boundaries and privacy, even if you disagree with the decisions he/she is making regarding the relationship. A survivor of domestic violence may make numerous attempts to leave the abusive relationship, but it is often difficult because of financial and child care responsibilities, or threats of violence. Be patient and understanding.

Suggest that the victim tell their doctor or nurse about the violence, asking him or her to document the abuse in medical records and take photographs of any injuries. Suggest that the victim store them in a safe place, along with a written description of what happened. These records may be helpful if he/she decides to take legal action in the future.